Wednesday, July 16, 2008

#@$%!



It's hard to look like a bad ass --oops! boy when you can't say shit --I mean sugar.





But you can help. Give you best non swear swears so Jakey can have something to say. Get Creative. Channel you inner Mrs. Livingston who would never swear in front of her Bubble Boy. Those Italian phrases he'll pick up from those sumbitch Texans will get found out and the only thing Jake will have left to say is "Jinkies".

Now a Southern Lady never swears, they swan, or swanee - but Angry Inch? What ever would a Southern lady mean when she says that? ; )

108 comments:

Wicked said...

Here's one I guess Jake could use-

Thou lumpish tickle-brained maggot-pie!

Shakespearean insults

I cannot believe Spesh figured out how to use this song in a post!!! I uploaded it as a test of her Blogger prowess. She is up for the challenge once again!

Anonymous said...

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

Special K said...

Sit on it!

We know what Ron Howard really meant when he would say it to Potsie. LOL

Anonymous said...

Those Italian phrases he'll pick up from those sumbitch Texans . . .

Funny post today. ;)

Anonymous said...

Jack to Ennis : Tu figlio di puttana sumbitch!

The rodeo stranzata! ;)

Anonymous said...

Dagnabit.
Doggone it.
Shucks.

Hornswallowed

Anonymous said...

Look where Austin was yesterday: at the ESPY's in LA

Sorry can't make the link. Just click on my name if you want to see him ;)

Clarity said...

That insult website is hilarious Wicked.

Sorry but I dont see a music bar today. No music coming in...is it just me : (

Anonymous said...

He's not in Europe yet. Austin at the ESPY's event in LA yesterday. Seems be with some actress:http://www.gettyimages.com/Search/Search.aspx?contractUrl=1&language=en-US&family=editorial&ep=3&p=Austin%20Nichols&src=standard

Anonymous said...

Adrianne Palicki is on Friday Night Lights.

link

destiny said...

At once time I knew some insults in Chinese, but I've forgotten them; I'll have to look in my Chinese slang book when I get home.

Special K said...

The ESPY Awards are taping today.(tonight) Justin Timberlake is hosting. They awards will air on ESPN Sunday, July 20th.

Wonder if Austin will go today's taping as well.

As I recall Jake went to the ESPY with a couple of amigos a few summers ago. : )

Anonymous said...

Great Horny Toads.

Dirty Rotten Rack-a-frack!

Beezy Wobble Pegaloomer

criminetly

Special K said...

Let's see how about

Monkey Funker

Man Alive (family fav)

Holy Cow (love ya Phil Rizzuto)

Belgium (The most offensive word in the word - According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) -- Sorry Spooky.

fiddlesticks

balderdash

horsefeathers

fudge

Anonymous said...

I'm struck by the overwhelming lack of underwhelmed-ness you're all showing with these new Austin photos. Why's that do you wonder?

Anonymous said...

Because this has become a Reeke blog--that's why. Austin who?

Anonymous said...

Oh babbler you are so transparent.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps because you've been pimping them all over the Toothy sites, PR-at-1:27? Your homophobic bearding processes grow tiring and they're very, very predictable.

What's more, if the girl in question is gay in real life and also bearding - well, I expect we can see "love! real! romance!" soon for Mr. Nichols as well.

Anonymous said...

but, but Spesh LOVES Austin. She's always going on about how sexy and fit he is. The silence about these pics speaks volumes.

Special K said...

Working on non swear words and looking at Austin, doesn't go together.

Cause you first say DAMN! that boy looks fine, then you think SHIT the boy is hotter than HELL. Then the big F word drops when you think of the him and Jake together.

Wicked said...

Oopsagirl, the woman with Austin is someone he worked with on FNL. I think Austy looks a bit rough, myself.

Do you all think it's a coincidence that Broadwing was on the blog when both Oopsagirl comments were made? Just wondering.

Special K said...

Hey Jake's looking a little rough and tumbled too, and its not a bad look on either of them in my opinion.

Loving the vintage watch. Got to work those accessories. : )

Anonymous said...

"Working on non swear words and looking at Austin, doesn't go together."

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Jack FREDERICK Twist!

Anonymous said...

Jeezo-Pete

Cheese and Crackers

Anonymous said...

Thou gorbellied full-gorged lewdster!

Hmmm, who could this apply to?

Anonymous said...

How could we ever forget that one? Jack FREDERICK Twist. :)

Anonymous said...

Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.

This Shakespeare site is great! ;)

Anonymous said...

I just have to say that Adrianne Palicki really makes my gaydar go off. I guess she's in the Penelope Cruz beard mode, then.

Anonymous said...

From Jezebel:

"Reese & Jake's Family Vacation." The story opens with a super cute picture of Jake, Reese and Ava holding hands, awww (Fig. 2). The group went to London and Paris and it was a "trial run" for Jake to see if he could handle the kids. It's a 6-page story with tons of pictures but it was pretty run-of-the-mill: They went into through The Chunnel, watched fireworks, swam in the pool, ate pizza."


Think living together he would've notice them around.

Anonymous said...

The grade for this magazine-

Grade: D+ (wet, damaged, wilted lettuce)

Anonymous said...

Great Hawk!
Yee Gods!
Shipoopi!

BALZAC!

Wicked said...

Monty Python-

I fart in your general direction!

Friday Night Lights, the movie-

Great Grandma's drawers!

Anonymous said...

Mr. Hill

Watch your phraseology!

destiny said...

That is one of my favorite Monty Python lines!

Anonymous said...

'Ni'
'Peng'
'Neee-wom'

Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv'

Anonymous said...

Where's the Beef?

Tossed Salad

Lickity Split

Special K said...

TDK News:

MovieTickets.com says that, four days prior to its release, Warner Bros' Batman: The Dark Knight has sold out 700 performances in North America and is outselling 3 of MovieTickets.com’s Top 10 Performing Films of All-Time. To date, the pic has more than 3-times as many advance tickets as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, more than 2-times as many as Spider-Man 3 and almost 2-times as many as Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers at the same point in the sales cycle. This lends fuel to predictions that the latest Batman 152-minute installment can make $130+ million for the upcoming 3-day weekend opening because of round-the-clock showings.

....Meanwhile Fandango (which sells tickets to more than 15,000 theater screens) reports that Warner Bros' The Dark Knight has grabbed a whopping 90% of all ticket sales for the upcoming weekend show. That's incredible considering it was still only Tuesday.

Nikki Finke

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear it. :)

london tb said...

Austin looks *fantastic* - I love the hair. He has lots of pretty girlfriends :) Wonder when he'll leave for Rome?

I've just worked out what the angry inch is. Only taken me about two years.

Clarity said...

I thought Austin looked good in those pics. He seemed very relaxed. Maybe it was because he was with someone he knew. You can tell by his face that hes getting older though.

I think its pretty pathetic when folks come here and try to start trouble for no reason. I dont know how you guys deal with that all day.

Good news about TDK.

Anonymous said...

Look at the space between Austin and the chick he's with. They're not leaning into each other like a couple. She's clearly not his girlfriend. Body language tells the story.

Anonymous said...

Adrianne Palicki is 2008's Jennifer Esposito?

destiny said...

Finally got a minute to look at the pictures. It just looks like Austin being Austin; he always seems to manage to wrap his arms around friends and co-workers, except, very tellingly, Jake.

What I wante to know is why he's keeping that hand in his pocket.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
destiny said...

Sorry, want, not wante.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I thought the angry inch was her chin. But her chin is bigger.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Santo cazzo
Holy frederick

Faccia da culo
Butt-ugly

Cacasotto
chicken sh*t

Scassacazzo
Pain in the a**

Le tue ascelle puzzano
Your armpits stink

Porco Dio
God you are a Pig

Anonymous said...

Austin looks pretty darn good in those pictures. You can't tell anything from those pictures, tho. That's a real prom pose if I ever saw one. Neither one is leaning into the other. Like the scruff on him.

Anonymous said...

i cant believe you deleted my post. Förbannade hönsjärna! means "Damn chickenbrain!" in swedish. i use it on myself when i make mistakes which is all the time.

Anonymous said...

a real prom pose

set up by their parents err agents!

Anonymous said...

You forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone. ;)

Special K said...

One more for the swear list.

Dick Cheney!

Anonymous said...

Take you me for a sponge?

Anonymous said...

Check out who's on the list.

The Secret Rosette: Ridiculously Unnecessary Blog about Ridiculously Good Looking Guys

Anonymous said...

You forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone.

Anonymous said...

austin & matt gubler! 2 very smart guys. woul love to see them collaborate one day. gubler acts but is aslo a filmmaker.

Anonymous said...

I usually think Austin looks good, but he looks like hot buttered shit at that ESPN party. He has that sweaty 'I've just done an eight ball of coke' look. :(

Anonymous said...

austin has degree in writing, gubler has degree in filmmaking. hope they meet and do something together.

Wicked said...

Sorry Look it up, but English is the only language I understand with any confidence. I wasn't sure if you were translating with your comment or not. Someone posted something above you in Swedish that I tried to translate and got gibberish. I figured it might be something offensive so I deleted it. When I saw your post I thought it was more of the same.

Anonymous said...

agree with the sweaty look but girl has it too. methinks its bad lighting at the red carpet 'stop and pose here' section.

Anonymous said...

What pic does she use for Austin on the list? Lakers I!

Anonymous said...

Adrianne Palicki is pretty, but I think Austin Nichols is breaking out in the flop sweat because no one actually believes, despite the cuddling that he is actually dating her. Don't see Austin around as much now that he and Jake don't spend their weekends working out and going to bookstores together.

Scroll down

Also, check out Helen Mirren in a bikini!

Anonymous said...

for you my dearest wicked ;)
swearsaurus
[the ads are nfsw]

bwt the swedish you deleted above me was "Get lost! Go to hell!" LOL

Special K said...

Austin's picture right below J.D. Drew of the Sox getting the MVP of the Allstar Game IN Yankee Stadium. How much can a Sox girl take.

Anonymous said...

" huh? where? said...

You forgot the "h", LookItUp. You should be deleted for that alone."

Before the "j".

destiny said...

I couldn't find my sheet with Chinese swear words. I did find a great saying in the Chinese slang dictionary: You can't hide fire in a paper bag.

Special K said...

From Ted:

Super Sibs

Jake Gyllenhaal and Maggie Gyllenhaal: Jakey-Poo’s already cemented his status as a leading man, and Mag-doll certainly is a megawatt star on the rise, taking over Mrs. Cruise's role in The Dark Knight. We’d love to see these cuties play onscreen sibs again like they did in Donnie Darko.

Blue Velvet said...

Love the photos of Austin at the Espys - thanks, Spooky. The hair and stubble suit him. Also love that he seems to have such great relationships with his co-stars. Could he possibly be filming some additional episodes of FNL?

Anonymous said...

From MK/Dlisted

Reese Witherspoon cleans up well, but Jakey would still look sexier in that gown IDLYITW

Anonymous said...

Random comments from the Ent. Lawyer

So, Jake decided to go hetero for Reese? Poor Austin. :(

Don't be silly, who on Earth would go hetero for Reese Witherspoon?!? LOL!

Don't believe everything you read in the rags.

Hollywood, PR, fauxmance.

........

Austin and Jake - What about Monday thru Friday?

........

Reese - LOL of all the pics Ent uses the one that says "Maxi B" on the ladder.

Wicked said...

bwt the swedish you deleted above me was "Get lost! Go to hell!" LOL

I put that Swedish phrase into a Swedish-English online translator and it came back as, "You must tighten the forest." I found the implications of Jake giving Reese this advice somewhat troubling!

Anonymous said...

When Reeke holds hands, they do not intertwine their fingers, the hands are always clasped.

Anonymous said...

Thou reeky knotty-pated strumpet!

Anonymous said...

Wicked, you're funny. ;)

Special K said...

I've noticed Ever Notice.

Not really digital dancing is it?

Anonymous said...

Frrrickinfrackingolldangmundanenoodlegrrrrshrakenbaladashrifff!

Special K said...

This has to be a classic swear from Ralphie's dad.

BUMPUSES!!!!!

Anonymous said...

'When Reeke holds hands, they do not intertwine their fingers, the hands are always clasped.'

And its always like a frederickin death grip. makes me sweat and wring out my hands just looking at it and not in a good way.

Anonymous said...

after rome ent lawyer had reeke on his site [called 'i laughed and laughed'] and he said 'who the hell holds hands like that?'

Anonymous said...

Does anyone have a link to Ent.Lawyer's site? I'd love to read what he's written about Reeke.

Anonymous said...

Ent Lawyer Crazy Days and Nights

Anonymous said...

Thanks Linked In. I'm going to check it out.

Anonymous said...

Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?

Boy, that Henry IV had a mouth on him . . . ;)

Anonymous said...

Ent, I had hoped you'd post something about Reese and her anal-retentive house rules. Jake would rather take out the trash when the can is half full than go book-shopping with a cute boy?

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine Milch having dinner at Reese's? LOL

Anonymous said...

Not only do they not intertwine fingers, but they seldom make eye contact or smile at each other, just at other people, or at cell phones.

IHJ added some more photos in HD. Jake's hair looks pretty rough in some of those photos. Uncombed, unwashed. Also in pic #20 I swear he is checking out the cute blonde guy. Wonder why the pap did not crop that photo.

Glad to see Austin. His horoscope did say he was coming out from his exile. He is the missing link afterall. I would not be surprised if he is being pressured to be seen with a woman. He was wearing a chain, but I could not see what was on it.

Anonymous said...

stephen 'f bomb' gyllenhaal having dinner at reeses....maggie 'f bomb' gyllenhaal having dinner at reeses....jake not having any family or friends at reeses....jake not having any friends.....or family....only lonely dinners at reeses.

Special K said...

Is Jake taking pictures with a Leica camera? Color me jealous.

I think he was picking Ava up in the garden walk so she could take a picture from up high with her own camera.

Anonymous said...

whats at the back of jakes shirt underneath? is this how he wears(hides) his chain, on his back or is it my imagination?

pucker, brown donut or ??

Anonymous said...

ITA re the hair M. rough and dirty..not nice. about the cute blonde guy..maybe the camera caught jake at the momet but funny how he has his lips relaxed and slightly parted..def a sign of attraction.

Anonymous said...

The blonde guy has an all american boy look, you think he reminded Jake of someone else?

Anonymous said...

He really is checking out that Austin guy, isn't he :D

Anonymous said...

100

Anonymous said...

Yay new Austin pics

Adrianne Palicki is very Mandy Mooreish but is supposed to be a giant - about 5'11 or so.

So you know, in a double beard date, she could stare the little one down like nobodies business.

Still like Sophia the best though.

Anonymous said...

He really is checking out that Austin guy, isn't he :D

Which picture is that?

Anonymous said...

Pay attention to MEEEEE!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks!
LOL

Anonymous said...

If you wanted proof that the London/Paris trip was for PR, check out the US Weekly story. It's all in there. The main focus of the article is that Reeke and kids are a FAMILY. Here are some highlights-

*Jake took the kids to a high end Paris toy store and let them each buy one toy, he acted very fatherly

*The Paris trip was a trial run to see how Jake would do at parenting

*Reeke spent time alone together in London and then she sent for the nanny and kids

*Once the kids were there, everything was about them

*Gyllenhaal family says Reese "is exactly who they want him to be with" (I guess she's not who the G-fam wants to be with though, considering they never spend any time with her)

*"The feeling in the hotel was that they [Reeke] were the kids' parents- they were that close."

*They're putting off marriage until his schedule puts him back in LA

Anonymous said...

After just looking at the addtional pics added at IHJ, looks to me like they tried really hard to out do the Rome pics. Reeke hardly ever holds hands or even makes eye contact, but on this photo op, they're hand holding and Reese does her ultimate show of affection, putting her hand in the back pocket of Jake's jeans. But, who the hell stands in the middle of a park, with your kids, nanny, bodyguard and half of the country there, and just stands there with your hand in your boyfriends back jean pocket. I think this is Reese's way of saying, yeah we have sex, see I'm touching his ass.

Anonymous said...

You Nailed It!

Anonymous said...

What's worse is he's totally engrossed in whatever's on his Blackberry, and there's a huge gap between them. The hand in pocket looks very unnatural - not like Rome. The hand is isolated from the rest of her, almost.

Anonymous said...

Saw the cover page of US Weekly and I wondered now How on Earth did they get that shot? It's like a Glamour shot. In all the countless coffee shop/shopping outings (and that's all they ever do back here in the states) they don't come close to looking like this. When was the Justin Long/Drew Barrymore all-over-each-other phase, I really want to know. Because if Reese was any kind of warm-blooded, breathing hetero woman, I'm sorry, but she would be all over that guy. Who wouldn't, I ask? It's like they fastforwarded to the been-married-for-15-years, yeah, we do it once every 3 months phase.

The other thing that still gets me is how the rags are painting this as a test/trial for Jake, to see if he is step-father worthy. Altho, they don't even say step, like Ryan P. doesn't even exist anymore. Uh, weren't the rags trumpeting the fact that they've been shacked up since at least winter? So why does he need to interview for this part of the professed upcoming nuptials? And I'm still thinking of that all-too-telling photoshot of the kids walking hand-in-hand with the nanny on the Paris sidewalk and Jake walking a carlength behind, his face buried in that phone. uh huh. yeah. He's all over that one, he is.

Sorry for the ramble. Wicked/Special, thanks for the opportunity to hurl my opinion into cyberspace, even if no one reads or gives a flip.

Good morning!

Anonymous said...

barfing said !!!!

LOL!

Well, can't decide if I want to pu this Us Weekly on my way into Wally World, drive around the store & laugh/hurl, then bring it back & gently place back into the magazine rack on my way out.

Anonymous said...

I read you PG and I agree. The cover stories are set way in advance. Notice that even a shocking event doesn't always make it onto the cover (esp. at US). The pictures were taken to support the story and the whole thing is bizarre. (The hand in the back pocket is priceless!)

Perhaps this is all counter acting the kids getting a real live step mother in the coming months.

We'll see. Did you notice the last few lines though? "Distance and being apart will test their relationship." It's almost like they are planting the seed for the inevitable breakup story.

Anonymous said...

Because if Reese was any kind of warm-blooded, breathing hetero woman, I'm sorry, but she would be all over that guy. Who wouldn't, I ask? It's like they fastforwarded to the been-married-for-15-years, yeah, we do it once every 3 months phase.

PG, I've been thinking this too. The mind boggles. And very few hetero men would be happy about that situation either. ;)