Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Battle Bowl Round One: Action Figure Face Off

It is being reported that it is confirmed that Jake will be playing Broadway Joe Namath in a biopic.


So what happens when two icons of manliness, the ancient warrior meets the gridiron superstar, meet? Only one thing can happen .

Two Men Enter

One Man Leaves


Hey Kid - you're looking kind of small there.



I am the Prince of Persia! Time bows before me.

That's the only thing that could bow at those square feet. I'm a quarterback, a Superstar, a Jet! Look at me I have bendable knees and a throwing arm.



Well I have an Ostrich!


And Warrriors!




Hey there, I don't mean to get you all ruffled up. I'm just tell you I got the inches. 12 inches.
And the way with the ladies.

I have a Princess! Princess Tamina.



She look a little stiff and thick. Now I had a Texan! The fair Farrah.


And I have 12 cool Mod- About Town Outfits. Like this Disco Suit!

I make my men wear the risky fashion outfits!


And I have an Ostrich!
And Warriors!

And ... and a Camel!



I have Johnny Unitas! Wait whoa, whoa. It's not what it looks like.
You know its just locker room stuff.
Unitas, the square, even wore his uniform in the steam room.




I have a shirt that shows off my mainly hairy chest and tight pants and codpiece.


Listen kid, been there, done that , and had the blonde first. And I mean had the blonde.
And I leave the cup in the locker. Damn... I look good man.



My pants are tighter!
And I have an Ostrich!
And Warriors!
And a Camel!



A Catalog Spread with Chicks!



The Internet! .........Twwwwwwwwittttter!

Hallmark Collectible Keepsake Christmas Ornament!


You have won this round Namath! We will meet again!

52 comments:

prairiegirl said...

LOLLLLLLLL!

Oh man, Special, you have absolutely outdone yourself on this one. I can't even comment on everything I want to say about these pictures.
lol. Aw, those little Lego figures are cute.

I can't linger cause I have to get to it. But I can't wait to take my time checking out those dolls. And checking out that PoP picture again, of course.

Just had to say that it seems rather like an amateurish move on JustJared's part to print a picture from a fan/blogger without their permission.

That whole deal is very strange. And very cover-uppish, if you ask me. And I don't mind saying that it would be a great compliment if this strange deal got a few people upset and riled. I would love it, in fact.

Have a great day, everyone!

Music Luvah said...

Swear to God, Spesh - you are the best! So creative. This has got to be your most creative post yet. How do you do it? :*

fyi said...

http://www.okmagazine.com.au/process/video/gallery.html?cat=7&vid=1075&wtf=videoPlayer

POP trailer. Has this already been posted?

pop said...

^^^^ FAKE PoP trailer.

destiny said...

All that Namath stuff is great, I don't know how you find all of that. I am not a fan of the Lego figures, so I think Joe wins by several camel lengths.

My speculation on JJ? Remember he has ties to US Reekly. My guess is that reeke would love to see Austin beard but he won't do it, so they trot out things like this and the US story in which they said Sophia was dating Austin for 2 years when it was J. Foster. To me the dead give away was working Jake into that post.

Special K said...

Actually that is not a real trailer but really good fake one. It came out right shortly after filming.

Special K said...

This is one thing that is going on the OTH boards, is that Jared has kind of a thing for Sophia. And a lot of them over there have said that and also dropped the stalker word. That he goes on the OTH boards for Sophia stuff.

And if Reeke wanted to use it why the hell would JJ use a fan's pictures from her Myspace that she never gave permission for and has asked to have removed. They are asking for too much trouble.

I go with the OTH girls on this one, this is all Jared, and he knew people would pick it up. He does do posts about all the different guys Sophia has hooked up with, and that whole section around that post was couples news. I think he was trying to scoop the big boys, by using a fan forum. But it backfired.

And Dastan vs. Namath - this is just round one! : )

fyi said...

Oh sorry.

Special K said...

Don't feel bad FYI. Hey if OK thinks is the trailer it's a really good fake trailer.

destiny said...

Intersting Special about people thinking Jared is "stalking" Sophia, he certainly does seem to cover her every chance he gets, and the scoop angle theory. That could be the explanation too.

The other interesting thing I noticed in the comments on JJ and on one of the OTH sites I looked at is that there seem to be a lot of people who don't like the idea of Sophia dating yet another co-star. Plus I think Sophia made that comment about them going on a couple of dates and just being good friends in order to shut down any talk on that front.

m said...

Cute, cute, cute.

Can't say that I find Jake any more appealing as Namath than I do as the POP, but he does have Namath's coloring and the right hair for the part.

Kel said...


Meanwhile, Witherspoon and beau Jake Gyllenhaal were spotted having dinner Monday night at Alma de Cuba on Walnut Street.

As they emerged from the restaurant, Gyllenhaal saw a photographer and pulled Witherspoon back inside. It's believed that they slipped out the back.



Reeke

Wicked said...

Remember a couple of weeks ago when an Italian girl swimmer's bodysuit ripped open right at the ass, and the name of the swimsuit was Jaked?! Well it happened again to a guy, Ricky Berens of the US. Here's to Jaked Naked strategically-placed holes!

Matt Grevers' suit ripped last night before the 100 back semifinal. FINA has banned ALL the high tech suits for next year and ruled that men's suits can only go from the waist to the knees and women's from the shoulders to the knees. No full body suits.

Special K said...

Alma du Cuba on Walnut? - give me a break about a house on Main line. Somebody's staying the Rittenhouse. Great restaurant. I bet Ms.W could get mashed plantains, but maybe not her mashed bananas there.

Should go to the Continental Midtown which is right there in Rittenhouse Square. But that might too funky for blondie, Jake would like the mid century mix, world tapas, or maybe just the pro sports guys who like to go hang there. But Ms W could get lit on the Dirty Shirleys - which taste like best cherry cough syrup (I think I'm getting a cough thinking about them) ever.

Special K said...

Sophia does have big rep for dating her co-stars, and hooking up with others in OTH fandom. She recently broke up with James Laferty (which like co-star 3 or 4) and there was a lot of buzz that she would end up hooking up with Robert Buckley.

Looking at some of most recent comments over at JJ. There is someone claiming that Austin is dating a non-famous women. The comment right after it was, If you saw pics from his trip to Europe you’ll know he’s not really relationship type

Mission accomplished Mr. Powers?

SiennaB! said...

the alma da cuba rest. looks yummy. wonder why they were so shy that night? kinda odd.

lol said...

Shy PR whores? Yeah, right.

Come on SiennaB, no need to believe everything you read in gossip columns.

name said...

Oh look at that the beginning of Austin bearding? Oh no he'll never do that! LOL!

Special K said...

Think he thought ahead, and used his Italy post to maximum effect. Can't settle down right now kind of guy.

prairiegirl said...

Reeke isn't playing shy. They're not being private. Jake's not being protective. And they're not dodging the blinding fireworks of flashbulbs. They're both just being, what's the word.....oh, yeah. Irritating.

Boy, I never knew Philadelphia was such the hotbed of HW nightlife and paparazzi hanging out at all the restaurant & club doors, Tom!! Do you ever have to fight that kind of action off? I bet that gets old, huh? lol.

Man, Reeke is pathetic. Philadelphia. And they've got the paps out waiting for them to emerge from their eating establishment. PR, you are going through the same ol' deck of cards again. I think it's time to go to Wal Mart and get a new one. Maybe there'll be some different cards to play.

LOL. What a great pic by the one-man Philly pap man. The back of their heads. Hey, I like Reese's flip flops. Very common folkish.

Bearding tutor said...

Fan photos of Austin with Sophia traveling from, presumably LA, to work in Wilmington, is not bearding.

Pap photos of Reeke holding hands and kissing at LAX, in matching black outfits, is bearding.

prairiegirl said...

Those little Lego figures are so cute. I like the girl's little cape. And that last picture of Willie Joe - whew! That's terrible, lol!

You know, it is funny that JJ has had several posts up on Sophia. I never see anything on her anywhere else. I don't know why not, though, she's beautiful.

You know, what is striking out at me today, though, is if indeed Austin does start having some "rumors" thrown out there, more mermaid & lady poetry, etc. etc., how funny is this? Well, sadly, not funny, but something else entirely.

Two guys, two tall, handsome, 28 year old, full grown men hiding behind women.

Hiding behind women.

Both of them. Now, how does that sound? Doesn't sound too good at all, does it?

Fellas, fellas......

Chad Michael Murray said...

One plane ride and a fan picture and I'm dating Austin????

Austi Spumanti said...

Blonds are nuthin' but trouble.

Special K said...

Another Fan who got to meet Austin and Robert Buckley on set.

There should be some more pictures of him and maybe video?

In LOVE with Austin!! That man and I are gonna get married!! YAY for huge smiling HUG pictures!!! :Dabout 3 hours ago from TwitterFon

@kramergirl @RobBuckleyduh You guys are awesome, thanks for hanging out with us! It was truly entertaining and a lot of fun! :)about 1 hour ago from TwitterFon

Robert Buckley and Jana Kramer and Austin Nichols FOR THE WIN!!!! They are amazing and totally just made my day!! :)about 1 hour ago from TwitterFon

Twitter

Wicked said...

Obama invites Gates and Crowley for a beer Thursday night at 6 pm

I hope there will be video.

Special K said...

Jared pulled the pictures and said apologies.

He hasn't pulled the post though.

It still seems like he wants to make them a couple and scoop the big boys.

It does tell you that the gossips go to fan sites for stuff.

More people are betting she hooks up with Robert Buckley.

Guess you have to let the "a little older than" young buck to be free buck around. ; )

Special K said...

I don't know if people realize it, but the legos - are the PoP legos that will be out at Christmas time. They were shown at Comic Con at the Lego booth. There are more, so keep on the look out and I'll post more of them.

Film Drunk said...

PRINCE OF PERSIA: WE’RE ON A HORSE, MOTHERFUCKERS

Empire recently posted some new publicity shots from Jerry Bruckheimer’s Prince of Persia movie, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, and Ben Kingsley. I never played the video game, but based on these pictures I assume the object was to try to cultivate flowing sex hair (except for poor Special K who has to compensate with eyeliner). Heck, I’d even bang the horse. This looks like it’s going to be for Jake Gyllenhaal what Troy was for Brad Pitt, and everyone’s talking about how buff he got for the role. But whatever, put this pussy in the ring with me. I promise I’ll submit him in 30 seconds. With a c*ck choke! OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH!

Hey– who let Jerry O’Bruckheimer into the girl’s locker room? He looks like the emo-est leprechaun. So they think they kin take me lucky charms, do they? We’ll see who has the last laugh once me orthopedic shoes correct me club foot. Until then, I’ll smoke me cloves ‘n take meaninful photographs.

Film Drunk

LOL said...

(except for poor Special K who has to compensate with eyeliner)

Special K = Ben Kingsley

Special K said...

One more thing about me - I have all my own hair.

No Ben K sexy beast baldness, No Kim crazy wig from Real Housewives of Atlanta, or no Sy Sperling.

Special K said...

But I didn't say the color is real, but it's my real hair. LOL

Special K said...

Two cowboy shirts worn by actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in the movie Brokeback Mountain are heading to The Autry National Center in Los Angeles. The two shirts have been intertwinded to represent "the struggle between heritage and acceprance in gay cowboy culture."

The installation is the brainchild of author Gregory Hinton. The shirts are on loan to the museum from collector Tom Gregory. He bought them in a 2006 charity auction for $101,100.

The shirt exhibition is part of the museum's larger attempt to examine the LGBT community’s contribution to the West and the Western genre. The Autry is currently in negotiations to house the archives of the International Gay Rodeo Association.



OnTheRedCarpet.com

Florida Tom said...

That reeke story is such BS. I know where the restaurant is. Actually it has a very good rep. I have wanted to go there for a long time. Well if reeke was in that area they are def staying in Rittenhouse Square. If Jake is even in Philly? There are no paps on Walnut St. believe me.

reeke will be papped if Jake is in Philly and it wont be some big surprise. It will be a photo op.

Florida Tom said...

Great shot of reeke. What a couple of losers. They dont even let people dressed like that drive through the Main line. I would love to know who that photographer was. Looks like Jake but not 100 % sure. Looks like his no neck though.

destiny said...

I was reading another story in the NYT on Comic Con. It said Disney "pulled out all the stops" and had presentations on 9 television shows and 10 movies.

invertabrate said...

According to ONTD Johnny Depp dressed up in a big Squirrel costume so he could walk around Comic Con undetected. I wonder what Jake would dress up as if he had gone, a giant pussy or an animal with no spine? No wait.. Jake wouldn't have to worry about fans mobbing him, would he.

m said...

I checked out Papa Gs new blog. The first couple posts sounded almost suicidal, but his mood seems to be improving. Any divorce is difficult, but to come out of a marriage after so many years must be a nightmare. You are starting your life over at 60. The most recent was a video so I got to hear him speak. Not suggesting everyone run over there, but I found it interesting. He is the dad after all.

Those Film Drunk comments are hilarious. I need to go back and read some of the older ones too.

m said...

Well, reading some of the Film Drunk guys other posts, it's very clear that he does not like Bruckheimer at all. In fact he seriously dislikes him. In one post he says an anonymous tipster told him (2007 post) that a friend of his ran an errand for Jerry which turned out to be picking up a package of coke. Ted alluded to some drug fueled nights with a bigwig. This was from an anonymous e-mail, so who knows if it is true or not, but he did post it for all to read.

Kacie said...

I am so glad to hear that Jake is
doing Joe Namath Biopic. I think
he will do really great being so
athletic and all plus he does have
same hair color! I think the Reeke
stuff gets old after awhile. Keep
me informed on OTH. Also, didn't
you say that The Informers DVD and
Blu-ray contains the extra 30 minutes of film footage they did not put in the movie? I will be
interested in who they say Austin is dating next.

crawl said...

invertebrate = m? Sure sounds like! How about some hate management workshop for you?

SiennaB! said...

i think Jake could definitely do a good and credible job as Joe Namath. i think that getting jobs like that are the payoff for changing his lifestyle from ambiguous to straight. as i mentioned before, when i first heard the joe n. rumor, it was told to me by a friend who said that the sports dudes on tv who were discussing we're laughing at the idea of gay jake playing joe n. now, i bet most of them have forgotten that they thought he was gay, or just assume they were mistaken. if we'd spent the last 2 years looking at pics of him hanging out with the guys, eating brunch at sidewalk cafes in nyc with 3 or 4 guys all sporting bedhead and no girls in sight, i doubt he'd have this opportunity now. jmho.

and b4 anyone gets too annoyed with me, i'm not saying i like what he's doing or even that the means justify the end in the big scheme of things, but maybe it's worth it to him.

hugs. s.

3 peas in a pod said...

Bruckheimer was good friends and producing partners with Don Simpson. Don was a big druggie and into kinky sex where he humiliated women (and maybe guys) by beating them up and sticking their heads in toilets and peeing on them. It got so bad that madams refused to supply him with call girls. Not to say that Bruck is like that but he's no stranger to drugs and using sex. Neither is Jake.

Reality said...

POP, Joe Namath, roles like a drug salesman or a space explorer, even rom-coms if/when he sinks that low = Straight Jake. Which means he will be bearding for a long long time. Trapped. Forever. Very sad and very disappointing.

SiennaB! said...

i happen to love rom/coms and think jake would be great in one. he's goofy and silly and funny and sexy and cute: what better way to show all that off?

using the critera Reality listed, if he were to come out, what movies would he get to do then?

s.

Ted Aced It said...

Holy crap! What was Ted saying about Shafterella and her love for sweaty tennis skirts with her girlfriend? Now we know the real reason for that town. LOL!

IMO said...

Indies
romcoms where he's the gay best friend
Gay dramas
Sci fi
Comedy

no thanks said...

Sci-fi? Like what,Torchwood? Oh please! Gay dramas? The gay best friend? Yeah, how sad that's all a gay actor can be.

who doesn't know anymore said...

But though Ron's contribution to American pop culture is great, his best recent work has been in a cameo in the video for Jamie Foxx's "Blame It," where he is seen rolling with Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker and Samuel L. Jackson at a club. It's hard to believe that Ron is much of a club guy, but he makes the appearance work if only because his look could easily be described as anti-hip-hop. Still, he looks more at home toasting champagne with those ladies than Gyllenhaal does.

MTV News

destiny said...

Who doesn't know anymore? People who don't really know or care who he is. Oh, and Jake and his people I am sure think they're fooling everyone.

I've been reading Gore Vidal's City and the Pillar, and it has a few chapters set in HW. It was written in the late 40s, and boy is it sad to see how nothing has changed. Beards, private gay parties, a HW leading man who thinks he is fooling everybody into believing he is straight but meanwhile everyone knows and is talking about him....

It's a very good book, by the way, and a quick read.

Ted said...

Dear Ted:
Shafterella Shoshstein's boyfriend is also famous, right? So why don't you give him a nickname and make his own Blind Vice?
—Jack

Dear Blinds of a Feather:
Uh, who says he hasn't had his own Blind Vice already?


Dear Ted:
What the hell is wrong with Jake Gyllenhaal these days? He used to make decent movies in the past. Now all he does is go on coffee dates with his so-called gf and produce crap like Prince of Persia. That photo you posted the other day was hideous by the way. Maybe he should just ditch that bird and refocus on his career. That would do him a lot of good in my opinion.
—Nic

Dear Long Lost Twin:
Did I write this letter and send it to myself?

The Awful Truth

SiennaB! said...

based on the couple of posts above, it doesn't even look like we have many ideas for jake to aspire to were he to come out. maybe he thought of all this too and said, "Hmmm... maybe i should get my happy ass back in the closet, do my fooling around out of sight, and walk the walk and talk the talk they need to hear so i can have my job and make some money."

i mean... that sounds like a pretty fiscally responsible plan to me. if he was already set, then maybe he could've taken the high road, but at that point in his career, it must've been too risky for him. :(