Thursday, July 9, 2009

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Who is the

bad Hatter?

The talk has been about Jake and his hats, but he has some honking competition with someone close to him. And both of them have had some baaaaaaaaadddd hats. Can they both "blame it on the goose" (liquor or otherwise)? So it's time to decide "Who is the Bad Hatter?

It's a head to head competition. Seven categories with a Wildcard Tiebreaker. And yes a fitting prize for the winner Who's it gonna be.

alls good in the Hoodie



Sweater Heads


D-bag Baseball


Big business


granDpas Golf Hat


Little Old Man



for Your ProTection



babusHka baby


Wildcard Tie breaker


The Prize:

The mack daddy player hat and outfit to go with it. And because there are no losers only second winners in this pair, a coordinating outfit with a kicky tie at the waist shirt. They have to fight over the white Adidas platforms to the right.

92 comments:

:) said...

granDpa’s Golf Hat

LOL!

destiny said...

Jake might be eeking by Austin in the business hat, and they both should burn the hats in the tie-breaker, but otherwise I think Austin rocks the hats. I don't know what it is about Jake and hats, caps and hoodies, I just do not think it is usually his best look.

sienna said...

i was looking at pics yesterday, trying to see what i could see about the hair situation, and let me tell you - it's hard to find pics of jake without headgear. i think it's a shame because i think he looks so yummy bareheaded (etc.)

:) s!

destiny said...

I agree Sienna. Although it seems like he wears a lot more headgear now than he did a few years ago. Concerned with his skin? Hair issues? Trying to hide in some way when he's reeking?

baby t said...

Think of the hats they've put us in Skittle head, pirate, lipstick and daddy's hats he shrunk

Special K said...

Jake as Superman? He's considered in a list of actors by comicbook.com now that Brandon Routh's contract has lapsed.

Superman, Consider the Possibilities

destiny said...

I don't know if it a good thing, or a bad thing, that Austin looks good in a babushka.

I didn't like the last Superman very much. Routh had the right look--I don't think Jake does--but he was bland.

bruiser said...

Wear shades at night and not when you gotta shiner during the day Wonder what she's up to.

:) said...

Think of the hats they've put us in Skittle head, pirate, lipstick

Too cute!

Hats Entertainment said...

Jake-and-his-hat as inspiration for a story where a friendly but shy unassuming suburban housemouse nibbling on cheeze-its crumbs left on the kitchen counter falls into the sink and gets washed down the drain into the city sewers, traveling back in time to the 1930's where he's morphed into a "Read All About It!" street corner yelling paperboy, in order to earn wages to buy his return-journey reverse-sewer trip ticket so he can go back to being the unassuming mouse he used to be: Drowned Mouse in a Big Dry World


Or: Drowned Mouse in a Big Dry World

Special K said...

Hats Entertainment - too funny

I am having flashes of Christian Bale at the moment.

Newsies

Special K said...

Couple of question about the shiner picture. What woman would go out with a shiner and no make up on? Seriously. And why do you wear your sunglasses on top of your head when you have one too? Or walk with your bad eye toward the cameras?

laceration said...

Can't remember where I read it but she said something about it having to do with an accident on the softball movie she's doing now. Are they filming now? Maybe, I dunno. Maybe she wants it to seem like its from Jake, you know, rough sex (LOL). Or she wants to seem edgier, a risk-taker when it comes to acting, since she wants to do action films. But you have good points Special. Is it a black eye, or a cut? Could be a bug bite or a cyst, or a skin reaction to a product or an injection. Maybe Atticus went for the eyes.

ding dong said...

Heh maybe she used Avon.

laceration said...

Even if she says its from filming I bet she wants to plant the seed that her eye cut/black eye could be from Jake. I think that's why the sunglasses on top of the head (to show it), the smile ("because it was all a mistake, he didn't mean it, he apologized, he told her he loves her"). Don't be surprised if an engagement ring is forthcoming, IMO. ("all is forgiven, it's made us closer than ever!"). Reese will always want to make Jake look bad in the end. And no, this isn't the end, ways to go before that yet. Reese is just setting the pieces up years before Jake's demise, IMO.

Tweet! said...

Hit with a baseball, she told a fan. On Monday on twitter a fan and her BF ran into Jake and Reese at a wine bar, she got a picture with Reese because she is a big fan. She said that Reese said that the pic isn't going to come out because of the bruise she got playing baseball. The picture was posted on twitter, she had no interes in Jake obviously but she did chat with him, she posted about it on a fan site.

She wore glasses after that, I think she took them off because she was pumping gas, that was the caption at one site, doubt she is trying to look tough.

fan fiction said...

she had no interes in Jake obviously but she did chat with him

Yeah, right.

Special K said...

It looks like she caught a grounder in the face off a bad hop.

The engagement angle. Sorry but that makes her look worse, that she would use that to get an engagement story.IMO. She is a spokeswoman for women's empowerment and fighting domestic violence with her duties with Avon.

tweet! said...

6:35: Simmer down, just reporting what she posted!
:
redban: met Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal tonight, both were insanely nice. Jessica's life is now complete. http://tinyurl.com/n8gv4f (expand)
2 days ago from web · Reply · View Tweet

redban is jessica's bf, she posted further about the encounter.

She hit with a aseball, end of story.

tweet! said...

She posted more about the encounter on a fan site i meant to say.

Special K said...

Back to the hats for a moment - So what's up next for each of them. Swim caps? Sombreros? Berets? Bavarian hats?

duh! said...

Urban Sombrero

Special K said...

That just says Austin all over it. You know he could carry off with his height. Jake - I'm thinking more beret, but would it be raspberry?

brain mulfunction? said...

Previous post: I so cannot believe that you seriously think those legs are Jake's. This is insane. I cannot decide whether it is sad or funny

take care said...

Brain mulfunction,

see your doctor, I'm sure he can help you.

Prince Lyric said...

"I'm thinking more beret, but would it be raspberry?"

Dunno, but I'm sure it'd be the kind you find in a second hand store.

Summer Loone said...

Btw, fedorawhora is now a word in Urban Dictionary, to be published within a week.

I first coined it here at OMG so of course Jake gets mentioned as an example of a fedorawhora (along with Frank Sinatra, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt)! Thanks OMG for your little creative nudges.

WUWT said...

Help me understand the Babbler's who research on Reese's fan sites and then come over here and post updates. GTFO already.

nothing to worry about said...

Not a babbler or the tweet! poster, but you have to understand, WUWT, with twitter its easy to go to sites via link, and the link doesn't give any indication of where (ie, a Reese fan site) you're going. If I was taken to it (RW fansite) and was already there before I realized it I would read it for the Reeke value and what the twitterer had to say, it wouldn't mean I was a fan of Reese or a babbler.

Even then, there's nothing wrong with a JIG proponent researching and being aware of RW/Reeke/Babbler. Know your enemies.

sienna said...

i don't believe for a minute that reese would want anyone to connect jake with her black eye, and i am kinda assuming that the person who said that here was saying it tongue in cheek. whatever her faults are, reese does market herself as a proponent for women, and putting up with getting hit by a man is NOT the way to go about that. i'm so thankful that rhianna got a clue and ditched that loser who beat up on her, and i wish/hope that michael vick (dog abuser) never gets out of jail.

jake and reese are a mystery to me, and i think - if we're honest - they are to all of us. while we can think and scrutinize all we want, in the end, we can't know what's in their hearts. i'm not saying that they are in love or not, using us or each other or not, but i do feel fairly strong on their intergrity about somethings (altho i admit, i might be wrong). i feel that they will eventually arrange a suitable end where reese will walk away the better for having had jake in her life, and jake will be sad to have lost her but accept the fact that she needs time to find herself, wtfe. however, i do not believe for an instant that jake will ever be set up as an abuser, and i hope that whoever said that was just being silly.

s.

Florida Tom said...

A tweet was in order. We have seen no pics in quite a while. I guess we should prepare for the Philly visit.

sienna said...

however, having sounded all uppity and sanctimonious in my last post, i don't doubt for a minute that reese is proud of her shiner and showing it off for a bit of interesting/different press. when you are as boring as she seems to be (bless her heart) that kinda thing might be a bit of a wild-thang image boost! :)

Special K said...

Flipping around the TV, and Jarhead is on FX. I haven't seen an edited for television version of it before. Wonder what they cut or blurred. ; )

laceration said...

"i do not believe for an instant that jake will ever be set up as an abuser"

I hope not. But that eye shiner does come in handy as an insinuation, a joker's wild trump card that Reese will keep up her sleeve if Jake doesn't want to play the hand she has dealt him, now doesn't it? It could be used as a direct threat to mar his reputation and therefore keep him in line or after the fact, for public sympathy points. In any case, it can cost Jake. I wouldn't put anything past her, I do not trust Reese AT ALL.

WUWT said...

Most fansites require you to log in or register. That's a lot of trouble to "know your enemy". You were outed. Just be honest say why your here and what you believe. Trolling is so sleazy.

sienna said...

laceration... i don't have any argument for you because - who knows what the future might hold?

however i will say this one thing: she's smiling and kinda showing it off, like "duh, look what happened to me." i'm a total spazz myself and i admit that i enjoy the attention that being a disaster queen sometimes brings me. she looks too happy and self-amused about the owie to later try to turn it into a bad thing, imho.

no, i don't think she's above making the most of a situation, but i just can't see her being able to turn this against HIM later. however, i agree in spirit with you, that eventually she will turn their romance into a shiny ladder to her new life, while he has to pay the price in some way.

poor jake, but maybe the benefit of being seen with her and ditching his gayness has been worth that.

and oh, btw... i followed a link to pics from 2006 where jake was hugging anonymous dude on the street and that was a Jack Twist Hugging Ennis hug if ever i saw one. it was NOT a friendly looking hug. there was way too much body contact for that.

anyway.. off to walk the dog. hugs. s.

nothing to worry about said...

"Most fansites require you to log in or register."

Well if that fansite was a register-only one then yeah I can see why you're suspicious. If I came upon something like that unless it was a celeb I really was interested in, no I wouldn't bother. But then again maybe whoever linked it here really was interested in what it said about Reeke or if there were more pics? And if so why didn't they just repost the story if it was truly interesting or copy/tinypic any extra photos?

I don't even know what post/link you're talking about frankly. My point was that just because someone looks at RW stuff doesn't mean they're a babbler. Its all info, and sometimes the most important, revealing, incriminating evidence comes from the unlikeliest sources!

curious said...

"and oh, btw... i followed a link to pics from 2006 where jake was hugging anonymous dude on the street and that was a Jack Twist Hugging Ennis hug if ever i saw one. it was NOT a friendly looking hug. there was way too much body contact for that." (sienna)

Which one was that?

Wenty said...

I told them I wanted to work on SVU so I could handle some big guns.

nothing to worry about said...

Oh and WUWT, no I wasn't the one who posted the link/info/whatever it was. Your reply "You were outed. Just be honest say why your here and what you believe. Trolling is so sleazy." if it was to me is out of line. I was just saying how twitter links can lead to anywhere and how any info can get linked or be useful sometimes. I'm not a babbler. Don't start that shit that with me.

Special K said...

Looked over at TMZ again and her reps have told TMZ that the injury occurred during softball practice, the early comments made should have Ev and Nancy and Reese getting calls or texts tonight by someone very unhappy and not caring about keeping their cool.

Flipping between the Sox and Jarhead. I haven't seen Jarhead in a while and I really should go back and watch it again. Jake was getting Oscar buzz for Swoford as well as for BBM, and you can see why he got that buzz for Jarhead. Unfortunately it was a hard movie to sell, and it wasn't because of the performances. I think the problem was that that was Sam Mendes really never made a definitive statement about Desert Storm it was just kind of there, which might have been what it was for the soldiers and for the public, but hard to sell a movie.

anger management said...

"someone very unhappy and not caring about keeping their cool."

Oh you mean the same one who drives off in a huff trying to run over paps at a CAA party and also spits and kicks at paps on the public streets and sidewalks too?

TMZ said...

"Update: Reese's rep tells us the injury occurred during softball practice for her latest film."

Anonymous said...

Funny how no softball practice pap pics have been done lately. Or that they said "during softball practice for her latest film" not "during filming." All pap pics the last few days have been Reese at the gym, shopping, all dressed up, def not dressed down and in working mode. Hey maybe BT threw a knife at her.

BT throws knife at Spoon, tells her to put a fork in it said...

Oops anon 9:55 was me, have no idea how that happenned!

sorry but lol said...

90% of TMZ and X17 comments about Reese's shiner is that Jake hit her.

Special K said...

A good friend, who's gay and now out, served in the Navy. When BBM came out, remember him saying - people shouldn't get all worked about Jake being in a gay movie, because already was in one, Jarhead was so much more homoerotic than BBM.

Sticks & Stones said...

Oh you mean the same one who drives off in a huff trying to run over paps at a CAA party and also spits and kicks at paps on the public streets and sidewalks too?

^^Yes, that's the some one. He should have Wup that jerk paps ass for trying to get a response. He should have channeled his inner (Debbie Rowe). Now that's how you let them know you will get medievel on their ass.

"Touch Me Again, I dare you". Ok

Special K said...

Caught TMZ early tonight and they had Reese walking in front of the paps. What was interesting was she was nice to the Paps and talked to them. Even Harvey said that was strange.

But the funny thing was that the TMZ camera guy said her, something about her having nice teeth. Of course this "mistified" the TMZ bullpen.

buzzy said...

Of course he'd say that; he was a gay man in the military, surrounded by scads of men.

To straight guys in the military, a war movie is a war movie.

omg it's human teeths said...

"something about her having nice teeth."


Maybe camera guy expected double-rowed crooked sharkteeth or some old yellowed coyote chompers. Probably never saw the bitch smile before.

Special K said...

Actually I think that's not really fair to say about him or his preference, that is making an assumption based on his sexuality saying its because it was a bunch of guys and he's gay.

What he was saying that there were many scenes that could have been taken as homoerotic, one being the "fieldfuck" in front of the NBC crew, holding men down for branding and Swoff in his Santa glory.

lane said...

OT: I have a lesbian friend who joined the military and her first assignment was on a base in Germany. Well I guess in Germany it's usual/normal for females (friends, family, whatever) to walk together with their arms around each other or holding hands. She told me her first reaction was WOW, she really REALLY liked Germany and was she ever going to have the greatest time being stationed there because all the girls were gay. LOL! Turns out, not many were and she had a very boring 2 years.

Nick Austin said...

"there were many scenes that could have been taken as homoerotic, one being the "fieldfuck" in front of the NBC crew, holding men down for branding and Swoff in his Santa glory."

No way. What BS! Are you sure about that? Well for research sake to prove you wrong I'm going to watch the movie again. Be back later with my opinion. Probably much later after Santa I mean my roommate goes to sleep.

news said...

A few minutes ago: Big 6.0 earthquake in China, 10,000 homes destroyed. No reports of deaths yet, 300 people injured so far. Expect tragedies. ((China))

Austi Spumanti said...

J - Found the hat already had the candy cane. ; ) I love Christmas in July.

destiny said...

TMZ made a remark about teeth? Those sly dogs. :-D

Are there really that many people who are seriously saying it was Jake in the comments over there? That is a really bad sign of how far his star has fallen.

Special K said...

Is Disney holding back - so they can pull a surprise at Comic Con?

Oddly missing from their line-up is anything on Mike Newell's Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time movie. Although you can be certain that Disney has got a few surprises in store for fans attending both of these presentations. Maybe we'll get to at least see the trailer for Prince of Persia during one of these panels at some point, I hope? I'm definitely very excited for both of these - Disney has a fantastic line-up for the next year and they're showcasing the cream of the crop here. Word is that we'll get to see the first official trailer for Tron and I have a feeling this is where we'll see the first footage from Alice in Wonderland as well!

Disney Announces an Exciting Comic Con 2009

Special K said...

A lot are the comments sadly are making it seem like Reese needed the smackdown. It is just sad that people make comments about violence and women, no matter who it is, private citizen or public personality.

destiny ftw said...

"TMZ made a remark about teeth? Those sly dogs. :-D "


DESTINY!!!!!!!

You're the smart one.

Sheeeit, it took me like an hour and your comment to *get* it. Camera guy not so dumb after all: "You have really nice teeth Reese"

Toothy for sure.
Baby Toothy, for those who believe.

= Nice Teeth.

And how reese says: "What a weird question" - LOL, she knew.

Destiny gets an award!

Special K said...

Totally off topic: Had to share.

Craig Ferguson and friends doing White Lines


And like I didn't know what the teeth comment meant when I posted it about Reese and the cameraman on TMZ. Please...

LOL said...

old yellowed coyote chompers

SK for the win too said...

"But the funny thing was that the TMZ camera guy said her, something about her having nice teeth. Of course this "mistified" the TMZ bullpen."

Sorry SK. I for one forget about Toothy = teeth, don't know why. Maybe because I see teeth = brush/floss/dentist/checkups/cavity/drill/fillings/pain/braces/retainers/veneers/caps/whitening treatments, not Jake. I'll work on it though! You can share the prize with destiny! Or fight over it in your fine hand washable underwear, as long as I can watch!

Special K said...

Have to say I love Craig Ferguson - Austin was supposed to go on the show to promote JFC but that never happen, I am just hoping he gets to for OTH. I can only imagine the wildly strange conversation and giggles the two would get.

Special K said...

Dest - Is it going to be Mets vs. Sox moment, or do you just want to split it over a nice brunch with jolly drinks?

Underrated Comic said...

Special, Craig Ferguson's White Lines was also in ONTD! ONTD loves CF!

sienna said...

i totally didn't get the TEETH reference, altho now that it's been pointed out to me, it seems pretty obvious! her teeth are extremely normal and not noteworthy. But her Toothy Tile is very interesting!

i'm sure there are sites where they get lots of good comments. i was at one the other day, don't remember where, but the majority of the comments were all about how Awwww Cute they were, which is still kind of a back handed insult imo, but still, it was positive fb.

another graph about overall popularity would be nice!! (hint to graph person!)

time for bed. alarlm goes off in 6.5 hrs. ick! hugs. s.

destiny said...

Definitely brunch and drinks Special, not a big baseball fan so don't care too much what happens to the Mets. :-D

And good point about the nasty comments at TMZ being directed at Reese as much as Jake. I hate the woman, but it is just as wrong to suggest she somehow had it coming, even as a joke, because it is not funny.

sienna said...

the bit of oddness about her getting hurt is: remember the pics of her in her face gear? i thought that looked sorta over the top paranoid, but she must've skipped it just once and look what happened.

i don't want anything bad to happen to her. i just want her to move along, out of my eye-candy pictures!! :)

LOL said...

I dunno, Reese's injury to her face looks a lot like the bottom of what Jake is holding to me!

Special K said...

This is fav too of Ferguson's puppet music moments.

Goatherd

Do I see a Unicorn? Quick point!

love the pap said...

Pap: "Nice smile, Reese, your teeths look great" AND THEN THE PAP LAUGHS TO HIMSELF! LOL! X17 vid

drought said...

For all the "all twitters are fake and all Reeke twitters are fake and and all Jake twitters are fake" believers, please explain why there haven't been any Jake or Reeke twitters the past few days. You know, to "place" Reeke together or because Jake is somewhere else and PR is hiding him or Jake can only be seen with Reese so no solo-Jake twitters are allowed online and are deleted by the allmighty PR who runs the twitter universe. Tom, M, Prairie Girl, anyone? Where are these "faked PR twitters" that are supposed to have Reeke together or Jake feeding the poor and homeless while saving the environment?

m said...

Drought, I guess you must be busy doing something else. No time to twitter.

drought said...

Can't rationalize your fake twitter theory, M? And sorry not to go along with your conspiracy twitter theory but no I'm not doing Reeke or Jake twitters fake or otherwise. And no I'm not a JIS babbler or a JIB either before you accuse me of that too. Funny how anything to do with Twitter makes some of you automatically connote it with Reeke, with JIS, with babblers. Talk about prejudice. What if there's a cluster of twitters about Jaustin sightings? Maybe even a pic? Would you doubt that too, say it was photoshopped? PR-planted? It's really sad how some of you have taken one form of communication and completely rejected it, simply because, and let's face it, none of the Twitter sightings so far have been of Jaustin. So far.. odds are it's bound to happen, but odds are some of you will say it's PR or faked. At least when a Twitter Jaustin sighting has finally come and is verified by several sources and maybe a pic I will be happy and feel like my patience and faith was rewarded. Some of you will still be pessimistic and feel bitter about being wrong about Twitter being all fake.

Special K said...

Think that some twitters are real, some are plants, and some are people just seeking a little morsel of fame - but that not just about Reeke, but about Twitter in general.

There were a couple of mentions of Jake out and around a few days ago in the Venice area, and one from someone with connections to Jake's extended family.

Of course the meeting Reese and Jake at the wine bar was one this week for them. What I thought was interesting about that one was the picture was of the girl and Reese, and makes you wonder if Reese alluded with Jake being with her (he's getting the car) because you really haven't see peep about him, except for chats about Brothers or watching Jarhead.

Sophia was in LA for the OP launch and the talk on the OTH boards is about other actors filming but no mention of Austin or Sophia, so maybe they have a few days off, and Monsieurs T and G have some days together with les enfants. (You know it's late when I'm Frenching)

I am sure one day there will be a Jaustin tweet or two or three. Photos? Do you think we would be so lucky?

duh! said...

some twitters are real, some are plants, and some are people just seeking a little morsel of fame

Duh!

Silly babblers are trying hard to sell twitter crap because two years and 2.000 Reeke pictures later they are still selling Reeke to us.

LOL!

sienna said...

Curious wanted a link to the pic of the hug that i thought looked gay. Here it is (i hope)

the hug

:) said...

^^^ Awww!

sienna said...

yes, awwww, isn't it sweet! :)

if you look at the preceeding pic, it's the same move he put Ennis in BBM when he got the news about the divorce. here's that pic:

the approach

:) said...

Whoever that guy is, Jake was very happy to see him.

wesley said...

sienna, same guy.

drought said...

"Silly babblers are trying hard to sell twitter crap because two years and 2.000 Reeke pictures later they are still selling Reeke to us."

^^ Silly poster who keeps repeating the same line "Silly babblers are trying hard to sell twitter crap because two years and 2.000 Reeke pictures later they are still selling Reeke to us" and who obviously doesn't read, understand or comprehend anything other than their own convoluted crap.

trolls are boring said...

Drought,

get lost, babblers are waiting for you!

drought said...

Stop trying to make trouble. We all know I'm not a babbler. You're a troll just trying to create infighting. Troll attempt = FAIL. So GTFO.

trolls are boring said...

^^^^Go and troll somewhere else.

Mister X said...

wesley said... sienna, same guy.

Do we know anything else about Wesley?

Austin said...

I'm sure my loving SOB Jakass can tell you all about Wes even though he always says, "whooooooo?" when his name comes up. Uh huh. SLUT.

Jake said...

I swear Austin, those sweatpants DID NOT HAVE KNEE PADS BUILT IN. I swear!

:) said...

LOL!

Wicked said...

Just read this about the earthquake in China. Bad, but it could have been a lot worse. Looks like most of the damage was to property. Hopefully folks there will be able to rebuild quickly.

Wicked said...

A co-worker sent this around by e-mail-

Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde (About fifteen minutes later): Loneliness!
And the audience laughed for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A.. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh