Saturday, October 8, 2011

A man walks into a bar... Jake style

No one will notice if I sneak in for a little pick me up. Besides I can change if I need to since it looks like I've got a wardrobe for 4 in my big black handy dandy backpack.

Barkeep - some of your finest elixir. Hmmm. Wild organic blue-green algae? Wonder if it tastes like Wild Turkey?

Oh this doesn't taste anything like Wild Turkey.
This blue green algae tastes like chlorophyll, and this chlorophyll tastes a lot like blue green algae.
Actually this just tastes like if you licked the bottom of Austin's waterski.

Just swallow it. They can see you in the window.
I think a poke in the eye might be better.
Oh here come the 64 vitamins, minerals, and enzymes...

54 comments:

Special K said...

Jake in Glasses! and heading to Yom Kippur Services.

Celebuzz

Methodical Muser said...

Awwww. Jake looks adorable. He should wear glasses more often. Atta boy, Jake.

Methodical Muser said...

Your post is absolutely hilarious, Special. A+++++.

Methodical Muser said...

Oh, and it was pretty damn funny too, particularly the caption with the poke in the eye and the Wild Turkey. Poor Jakey. Just trying to slip in with 4 changes of clothes hoping no one would notice. LOL!

Special K said...

Jake is a cutie in those glasses.

Dorothy Parker said:
"Men seldom make passes

At girls who wear glasses."


But she never said if they did to boys who do.

And Jake in his, how could Austin not?

destiny said...

Jake looks really good in the new photos.

First time I can recall any reference to him heading to a synagogue for services (other than his bar mitzvah stories). But why would Jake/Ramona take a scooter to services.

tevya said...

It's a reformed synagogue and Peter is Catholic maybe it was a "relaxed" service.

I'm sure Jake and Maggie have gone to Temple before, just because we never saw any tacky pap pics before doesn't mean he didn't before.

He looks pissed BTW. Since he has been in NY for 3 weeks and seems to go to the same places, I bet people are alerting the creeps.

a hint said...

Wasn't the argument floated earlier in the week that the reason Jake was not being papped was because no one cares about him anymore? That Jake is boring? Even though he was hanging out in the same places?

I wouldn't be surprised that Jake wanted to be papped. He's an actor, remember? Scene: Glare at the camera so everyone will think this was not planned, but I wouldn't be surprised that it was. You don't see Peter perturbed at all.

And, Destiny, I do agree. Interesting that Jake is holding onto a scooter. If it's supposed to be Ramona's why isn't Maggie or Peter carrying it?

;) said...

If it's supposed to be Ramona's why isn't Maggie or Peter carrying it?

Another unsolved mystery

Methodical Muser said...

Suddenly, the paps know everywhere Jake is. Coincidence? Somehow, I don't think so.

Another photo of Jake today

tevya said...

Jake probably called the paps to show the happy family going to Temple, the pissed off look is an act. Also Jake never gets papped wearing glasses so he obviouly wanted to make sure they were sen this time around, fits in with the hipster look he has been cultivating for months.

Of course the scooter belongs Ramona, thats why she is wearing a helmet.

Big bad Uncle Jake carrying his niece's scooter while glaring at the paps, LOL!

Jake and the entire Gyllenhaal family are phony tools, I remember Cantara mentioning that photo-op in NY that the family did.

a hint said...

Maybe not so mysterious at all.

destiny said...

Did the story identify the synagogue they went to and I just missed it? Otherwise how do you know it was Reformed? You don't have to be Jewish to go to holiday services, but often you need a ticket to get in.

Special K said...

Just Jared has a few more pictures of Jake and the family (including Mom) heading to services as well as pictures of Jake jogging in Central Park this morning.

Just Jared

a hint said...

Were you the one pushing that Jake was so boring no one was touching him for weeks in NY because he was so boring? Never mind. Doesn't matter.

It's obvious that suddenly, Jake wants to be seen. There's no way he was in NY for weeks, where people knew exactly where he was hanging out, yet not one pic. Now, all of a sudden he's in a variety of unexpected places and we get three separate "candid" pics within three days. When Jake wants to be seen he is. And no, you don't know who's scooter that is. That's why the ambiguity of Jake carrying it.

Special K said...

Jake's mom looks good, especially her hair.

Jake's pant legs and his boots crack me up in this picture. It reminds me of a little kid.

Jake Mom Maggie Peter

tevya said...

Why is Ramona wearing a helmet then? Is that what girls wear to temple now?

It's only baffling to someone like you who don't have kids.

Most responsible parents have their kids wear helmets now when doing activities like skate boarding, especially in NY, Maggie and Peter are smart.

I notice you are pretending that Ramona isn't in that picture.

My take: jake called the paps for all of these pics, Ramona was skateboarding and Jake pretended to be pissed and had Ramona "hide" behind him and. I suspect Maggie and Peter didn't want any part of it and thats why big tough Jake is holding it.

I also think that they weren't going to temple here but probably just returning from some park, they went out again to temple with their Mom.

Jake is a tool and a phony like the rest of his family.

Look at Jake going to Temple, look at him jog in Central Park, LOL!!!

a hint said...

I have three children. So get over it. And, wow you sure have some very interesting backstories here. Maybe you missed you're calling and should have been a fic writer in Hollywood. LOL!

Special K said...

One thing I wonder is if anyone commented about Jake wearing leather shoes to Yom Kippur services.

And you right Dest, you often have to have tickets for the high holidays. All of my friends who attend services mentions that too.

lol said...

And no, you don't know who's scooter that is. That's why the ambiguity of Jake carrying it.

Are you serious? Sadly, I think you are. LOL!

Methodical Muser said...

But, I thought Jake was selfish, self absorbed and shallow? Looks like the image being projected here is domesticity and someone who is involved with his community. Whether we're talking about California or New York. That includes the LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts visit the other day too. I can easily see Jake going to Temple. Doesn't surprise me at all.

a hint said...

Are you serious?

Yes, I am.

Amy Hose said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Special K said...

Sunrise Sunset
Say goodnight Jack.

Amy Hose said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tevya said...

Maybe Naomi got tickets for the services or Maggie since they live there, plus they are celebs so I bet they get special treatment. There is also a fee.

Naomi family is Jewish but not religious so I suspect that this was a photo op.

Why wouldn't Jake go to Temple, he's Jewish isn't he?

That said, the fact that he is wearing leather boots means that he doesn't go often or the temple is reformed, head ain't covered either but i'm sure they provided one for him and Peter as they do.

twitter said...

Fronzotron
M. DiFronzo
Me, in my scene in One Tree Hill. Thanks @AUS10NICHOLS for using me in the shot! twitpic.com/6xba9h
2 hours ago

twitter said...

cynetvin cynthia sin-yi cheng
Full house at BAM tonite--Frances McDormand & Jake Gyllenhaal both in the house to see Wilson's Threepenny Opera. #wilsonneverdisappoints
43 minutes ago

prairiegirl said...

You know, I was contemplating offering a prize to the person who could catch Jake in his glasses - just one shot. Now I don't have to! ;D

Hey, I love those glasses on him. They look great. I like the style because the generous lens really accentuates his eyes.

Good for you, Jake!! Give those eyes a rest.

prairiegirl said...

And I don't see Jake looking mad at all. No, he's not smiling, but he's not mad looking either.

21:29, I don't know why you're even hanging around Jake blogs if you don't like him - talk about a waste of negative energy.

Seems like most of us here enjoyed the pictures - I know I did.

destiny said...

Something doesn't compute. For those who don't know, if you observe Yom Kippur you are supposed to fast and not drink any liquids, not even water, in this case from sundown yesterday to sundown today. People go to services after dinner, and then again early the next morning, with the services lasting until mid-afternoon. After a break of a few hours, you return to services and go until after sundown.

You certainly don't go jogging first, and if he was doing it before services, which start around 9:30, he'd have to be out there pretty early, or else they just dropped in somewhere very late.

I guess they could have just gone to a service for a few hours, but somehow I am really doubting they went to services.

destiny said...

And yeah, you're not supposed to wear or carry anything that came from an animal--so no leather shoes, and no leather bags. It would really be disrespectful to wear leather shoes and take leather handbags into a synagogue on Yom Kippur.

prairiegirl said...

Maybe Celebuzz got it wrong and everyone else who followed suit, therefore got it wrong as well.

What do you think they may have been doing instead, Dest? Maybe they were all going to dinner.

prairiegirl said...

You know, not everyone intensely follows all of the observances, rules and strong recommendations of all organized religions. There are Catholics who don't go to rosaries or confession but they may go to weekly church services. Then you have your Catholics who go the whole 9 yards by doing it all; church every Sunday, confession on Saturday night, say the rosary every night, go to catechism, etc. You have your Methodists who may only go to church at Easter and Christmas. And then you have your Methodists who go to church every Sunday then go to Sunday school, participate in retreats, etc.

Everyone is different. Everyone observes their spiritualism with different intensity.

I have never gotten the impression that Jake is one of those who faithfully goes to synagogue every Saturday. I'm certainly not going to question how he observes that part of his life because my spiritual life isn't always true to form. Heck, I cuss. I write slash. I have spoken ill will of and to people. It's not how I'm supposed to behave and I try not to do certain things but just because people are spiritual doesn't mean we're perfect - it means we know we're not perfect and certainly fall very short.

And I think spiritual people are just looking for ways to try and be a more fulfilled and happier, better people.

prairiegirl said...

And what in the heck is all in that backpack of his? Good grief - there's more than a laptop, Ipod and headphones in there.

That thing is bulging at the seams. His backpack has more stuff in it than my summer purse and that's saying something.

LOLLL!! Man, what's he got in there? I wanna see!!! Is there a whole stuffed turkey in there?! LOL

Bath & Body Works mini anti-bacterial waterless cleanser. Huge bottle of Powerade. A potted plant for lunch, earthworm farm for mid-afternoon snack and a mini-compost pail for leftover residue. lol

Awww, just kiddin'. Darn curious about what all is in that stuffed, stretched to the max backpack.

Backpack! Backpack! as they would say on Dora the Explorer.

the real m said...

Jake looks pretty good in those glasses. I'm glad to see the hair growing back nicely.

I have the impression that Jake observes Jewish holidays just to satisfy his Mother. He calls him self Buddhist mainly. But there is no excuse to flaunt convention or standard rules of conduct when you do go to Temple either. The pictures could be mislabeled. I cant help but notice that Jake was not papped once in the whole time he was there until OMG started talking about it and voila, pap pictures appear.

the real m said...

I notice too that Peter is dressed very casually and Maggie is wearing a dress slit up to her you know what. No, I dont think they were going to Temple. Nice to see them all together though.

prairiegirl said...

Well, I'm glad Destiny you enlightened with what you know on the practices of Yom Kippur because I know I do not know anything about it. Nor did I even know about not wearing or carrying leather - but that does make sense knowing about the sacredness of cows.

I wonder if like m said, is that Celebuzz got it wrong. Maybe they were near the Synagogue and they assumed that's where they were going. And like we've seen before, when the first person in line gets it wrong, then all the ones behind get it wrong too because they don't think for themselves, they just copy & paste.

I do find it odd that Jake is the one carrying the scooter; not that I don't think it's Ramona's because I think it is hers. There are other photos from September of her & Maggie out and about with Ramona on her scooter and that is exactly the same scooter, complete with little stickers on the bar.

But look at the pecking order when they're walking. Jake is in front and everyone else follows behind.

That tells me that it's a photo op and for some reason, Jake is to be seen carrying the scooter in them. And like m said, how obvious is it that we all were talking about how there have been no pap pictures and now we've been deluged.

Nice pics - I enjoyed them all.

prairiegirl said...

Sounds like Austin was filming yesterday. Hey buddy, I had to work yesterday, too.

Boy, working on a Saturday sure cuts into your weekend time. I don't mind the extra money sometimes but you know, after awhile it gets reeeeeal old. You need that down time - the body and mind have to relax and have fun in order to regenerate and stay fresh during the week. I have never understood workaholics who just can't stay away from the beeper, the office, work phone & email. And it is not fun to be working on a Sat or Sun while your friends and family are all off. What a drag.

Methodical Muser said...

That tells me that it's a photo op and for some reason, Jake is to be seen carrying the scooter in them. And like m said, how obvious is it that we all were talking about how there have been no pap pictures and now we've been deluged.

I agree that this family outing is a photo op. Not only were we talking about no pap pics very recently, but not too long ago we were mentioning how it would be nice to see a photo with Jake wearing his glasses. Like magic, both appear. Thanks Jake.

It's hard to say why we got these Yom Kippur headines because all the points that Destiny makes do ring true. If you notice, both Jake and Maggie have played down their relationship this past year. Maybe because of the exploitative nature of a certain set of holiday pics last November. Let's face it, the sting will linger a long time from that whole Taylor Swift Bonds With Maggie Gyllenhaal & Ramona Sarsgaard PR stunt from last Thanksgiving. May even be one of the reasons Maggie and Ramona are hidden behind Uncle Jake.

prairiegirl said...

If you notice, both Jake and Maggie have played down their relationship this past year. Maybe because of the exploitative nature of a certain set of holiday pics last November. Let's face it, the sting will linger a long time from that whole Taylor Swift Bonds With Maggie Gyllenhaal & Ramona Sarsgaard PR stunt from last Thanksgiving. May even be one of the reasons Maggie and Ramona are hidden behind Uncle Jake.

huh. Yeah, I never thought about that, M&M. It is significant to see the 4 together again. We did see them together at the opening of The 3 Sisters but it was at night, Jake was sick and they really weren't good pictures.

These are different, out in the daylight and obviously to be seen. Maybe it is a slow mend of what happened last November.

Interesting thought.

destiny said...

Oh I certainly agree that people observe holidays, etc. in very different ways, so all of my chatter was not meant as a criticism. I do think that it is possible the paps are just speculating. However, I suspect that the paps were called out for this one.

I suspect the pictures are really from Friday, not Saturday, and that they were probably headed to dinner somewhere to celebrate Yom Kippur.

PG, it's not just about cows. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, in which you ask to be forgiven for all of your trangressions during the year, and that includes against other people, so some of the thinking is doing it out of respect for life. The other theory is that you're not supposed to do anything comfortable that day, and leather shoes are more comfortable than others.

prairiegirl said...

Hey, I am reading through the grapevine that Camillar has deleted her journal.


PG, it's not just about cows. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, in which you ask to be forgiven for all of your trangressions during the year, and that includes against other people, so some of the thinking is doing it out of respect for life. The other theory is that you're not supposed to do anything comfortable that day, and leather shoes are more comfortable than others.

Ah, okay. Kind of like giving up something for Lent. That's good - I like that.

prairiegirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prairiegirl said...

Austin's Outlook Calendar



Hey, thanks for letting us know in one of a handful of your tweets in about 12 months, Aust, exactly what you're doing this weekend. Appreciate it.

The guy squeezes out 5 or 6 personal tweets in the last 6 months, of which a couple of them are peeks into his Outlook Calendar as to the status of his day/weekend's agenda - all for our benefit. Aren't we special.

Thanks for letting us in on exactly what you are doing allllll day today, Aust.

Methodical Muser said...

It's also good to know that Jake took the time to remind us, once again, that Maggie, Peter, Ramona, and Mommie are his only real family. Thanks, Jake. Appreicate it.

;) said...

Well you've always got Ted to throw some breadcrumbs your way

In the Closet said...

More likely to believe Ted than Jake's carefully crafted PR machine

Daddy Stephen waves hello said...

It's also good to know that Jake took the time to remind us, once again, that Maggie, Peter, Ramona, and Mommie are his only real family. Thanks, Jake. Appreicate it

Yeah I'm sure that was Jake's first thought walking about on a Saturday afternoon, how much you would appreciate it. Well done Jake!

Methodical Muser said...

Obviously, you don't understand sarcasm. Not surprising, really.

daddy dearest said...

Daddy Stephen could care less about his discarded family. He's a new hubby and father now. Jake and Maggie will be called into audition when he needs publicity for one of his crappy future projects.

twitter said...

emilyishere
Emily Dunlap
my uncle ran into jake gyllenhaal in new york. literally. they locked eyes and jake apologized. holy shit, i would have DIED.
28 minutes ago

In the Closet said...

Looks like the PR budget was blown on yesterday's "family" stroll. Back to relying on low-budget tweets.

? said...

Back to relying on low-budget tweets.

Which tweets are from PR?